Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Food. It is no secret that I love food. I am, however very choosy in what I consume. Not necessarily picky, (ok, perhaps it could be said that I am picky) but I do my best to make good decisions when it comes to food; both for my health and wellness but even more importantly the source in which it came.
I have many likes and many dislikes when it comes to food. At one point in my young life I would give most anything a try and looking back now knowing what certain things are,(think, chicken gizzards, sardines from a can, SUSHI etc.) I am repulsed that I put such things in my mouth. Sure, they may taste good (but do they?!) or are part of some fad, but as a grown adult, I am much more wise as to what hits my tummy; and if I don’t know what something is, well, thank goodness for google!
Right now, at age 37.5, I cannot say I have ever been “fat”. Definitely overweight, but never obese. When I got married to The Mr. (aka Craig, the hubby) in 2001, I weighed less than 100 pounds; I stand at a whopping 5’2.5″, so I was tiny. Granted, I was 21 years old. In the beginning of a happy marriage I likely gained a few ‘comfort’ pounds, but nothing really noticeable. Then 2007 hit. The Mr. was diagnosed with testicular cancer. BOOM!! I became something I had never been, a stress eater. Honestly, during the entire time we were dealing with cancer, my world was a blur. I remember a few things standing out, but mostly my memories are triggered by photos and seeing the girl I had transformed into. My world crumbled to pieces. Perhaps I will dedicate a separate post to the cancer story, but at this time I will just say it was dark and painful. No one, other than Craig and I know what that time was like. No one. Except my scale. I was up at least 65 pounds.
After The Mr.’s treatment (successfully) ended, we decided to slam that chapter of our lives closed, and not just start a new chapter, but rather an entirely new book series. We packed everything we had left and headed for the
hills desert. We moved to Henderson, NV in the blistering hot summer of 2009. Starting a fresh new life, I had the motivation to drop a good portion of the stress weight I had been carrying around the last two years. After a strict vegetarian diet and lots of working out via the Nintendo Wii, I lost 30 pounds. I was so very proud of myself and I felt good. I was not, and probably never would be again, the 100 pound petite girl I was 8 years prior, but I succeeded in my mission.
Now, fast forward to the present. Five summers ago, we picked up again, under very different circumstances, and moved to our permanent home of Central Texas. As far as my weight goes, it had fluctuated by only a pound or two here or there. With it being on a steady plateau for many years, I figured, ‘Ok’ I am okay with myself. I know I could shed about 10 pounds and feel even better, BUT– I live in Texas, for crying out loud! I don’t give a rat’s patoot what anyone says, Texas has the best food anywhere. Between the BBQ (oh yeah, I adopted some animal flesh back into my diet since moving South), the Tex-Mex fare and beer, I said I would never want to give any of those things up for the sake of being skinny; and why should I? I basically could eat whatever I wanted, drink between 1-3 beers a day and the scale would still reflect the same number. Oh, and I haven’t even mentioned the sweet tooth I had. I love to cook, but I LOVE to bake… and then eat it!
I believe I have body dysmorphia. I believe I feel and look to others much thinner than I really am. I’d look in the mirror and see someone I was happy with. My clothes sizes reflected the average sized woman for my age. My jeans were a size 8, my tops a Medium, and dresses 8-10. Normal. Why a need for change? I am approaching 40 years old, I think I look damn good for a woman my age, right? Ummm… not so much. I saw myself in pictures, from behind, and realized who I was in my mind was not who I actually was. Again, I am aging. I need to change my habits and ways of eating so that I may live the life I love for as long as possible. It is much less about vanity, but about my health. I want to be healthy AND feel good. I couldn’t care less about what anyone, other than The Mr. thinks of me, I care about my well being. So with that, I decided on a whim to change my life for the better.
There was really no particular ‘thing’ that made me put my foot down and say “I am going to lose weight, damnit!” I just did. I had no time to physically or mentally prepare for the new way of eating. In fact, my brother had come to visit for a few days and we had stocked our pantry full of delicious Texas foods and beer to indulge on during the visit. We ate out at a few of our favorite restaurants and barely touched the treats. The day after my brother headed back home to Colorado, The Mr. and I started our lifestyle change… why? Because perhaps we thought it’d be fun to keep a strict log of everything we put into our mouths and to waste all the stuff we had just lined our shelves with the few days prior, only to have it taunt us; not sure, really, but I was bound and determined to make it a success.
I signed up for Weight Watchers on 04 April 2017. I downloaded the app on my phone, purchased some measuring spoons to keep in my handbag (should we splurge and go on a dinner date) and gathered together meal recipes that included WW points. The Mr. joined me on the journey two days later. We take this very seriously. We are not on a diet. We have begun a lifestyle change. Diets are temporary. We have full intention that this is our permanent routine; it has been for the last 2.5 months, and it has paid off. I could not be more proud of ourselves. And I could not be more thrilled with our progress.
As of today, I am down 22.2 pounds and The Mr. is down 25.8 pounds. This is HUMONGOUS!! I have not been at the weight I am now, for… golly, I can’t remember. Long before the cancer. My initial goal was a reasonable 20 lbs. I have surpassed that and have created a new goal for myself. Once I hit that, I will be doing all I can to maintain the loss and tone-up. I am happy. I feel fantastic and I actually like what I see in photographs. The hard work and sacrifices are absolutely paying off… and the funny thing is, with a few exceptions, I don’t miss a lot. My tastes have changed. I don’t have cravings for sweets; I have a beer MAYBE once every couple of weeks; I really have no desire for those things. I have always loved fresh fruits and vegetables, so including those into my daily meals has been a joy. The toughest thing has been cutting down on dairy. I love milk. I LOVE cheese… but have found that almond milk is a fantastic and tasty alternative! As far as cheese… well, there is no substitute for cheese, so I have it in moderation. That is the beauty of Weight Watchers and what makes it possible for a successful outcome; you are not denied anything. Nothing! If you want to eat it, fine! Pizza? Sure! Ice cream, Ok! Just be aware of the amount it costs from the point bank (allowance) you get each day.
I LOVE life. I especially love MY life and what The Mr. and I have created together, and I want to make the best of it, for as long as I am granted. So, remember, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.